This movie is extremely popular, that’s all I can say. I see people posting quotes and songs from it all the time on facebook. Phong even told me that when he asked his students to write about a favourite film, one third of the class chose Me Before You. So with Tet coming and we having a bit more free time, I decided to give it a watch.
It was.. well, entertaining, but pretty bad in other aspects. It’s a well-made and solid romantic film, but the message it conveys though implicitly is especially egregious. Here’s what I think of the film.
First, to summarise: the film tells the story of an innocent small town girl who finds a job taking care of a wealthy quadriplegic guy who wishes to commit suicide. She falls in love with him, tries to persuade him that life is worth living, but she fails.
Why It’s Popular
I suppose the reason why this film is so popular is that it resonates with many young viewers. It encourages you to break your limits and follow your dream. The guy repeatedly tells the girl that “you only get one life, it’s your duty to live it as full as possible”, “don’t settle. push yourself”, “live boldly”.
I can see how motivational and empowering these messages can be, especially coming from a classically handsome and ridiculously rich dude (duh).
Also the film does a really good job at character development. You sort of grow with the characters, become happy at the moments they kiss, angry when they do something stupid, hopeful that a happy ending will come.
I’ll admit, I did get a bit emotional at that beach scene. You know that sunset scene when they are making out, the girl is madly in love, we can feel the atmosphere heating up and we feel so happy for them. Then the guy tearfully says that if he was his old self he’d absolutely smash the girl right then and there, but now he feels so powerless? I imagined myself in his shoes, and fuck, I’d feel so dejected and hopeless.
The cinematography is excellent too. They did a really good job at portraying a quaint peaceful English town on screen, and the lighting added immensely to the romantic atmosphere of the film.
What I Hate About It
Okay so it’s an entertaining and feel good film — and I really hope that’s all it should be: entertainment. But I honestly do not like the overly simplified, unrealistic, and grossly romanticised way it portrays relationships. I feel like this can damage the perspective many young girls have on life.
- The film is essentially encouraging lust and infatuation over commitment and responsibility. The girl has a boyfriend who is kind of goofy and insensitive. He is portrayed as being overly obsessed with his fitness lifestyle and is inconsiderate of the girl’s feelings. But objectively speaking, he is not a bad boyfriend at all. He cares about her, is attentive, ambitious, has good manners, and most of all, has been loyal to her for 7 years. 7 bloody years. And she just falls in love in a whirlwind with this disabled rich dude whom she has barely known for a couple of months, and so decides to coldly dumps the man she’s known for a quarter of her life. Real nice message there.
- I frankly cannot tell what she finds attractive about this cynical, bitter, selfish, and anti-social jerk. I think she is more attracted to his handsome look, to his money, to the sense of importance that she feels when taking care of him, and most of all, to the expensive adventures that he gives her. I mean, when she is taking care of him, she gets to go to classical music concerts, indulge in body massages and expensive cocktails at a 5-star beach resort, and fly in a private jet.
Really, this seems more like the fantasy of a boring small town girl who secretly wishes for a sugar daddy to take her on outlandish trips to exotic locations and have expensive food.
- The guy is a massive arsehole. He even openly admits that in the past he was a playboy who would only pay attention to blond leggy gold diggers, and that “people like her”, e.g. servers, attendants, waitresses, would simply be invisible to him. See how crazy that is? And yet she still falls in love with him. Yea, because he’s rich and good looking, his condescending and discriminatory attitude suddenly seems so endearing.
- The film has a horrible message about setting realistic goals. The girl clearly has an extremely dreamy and rose-tinted outlook on life. Alright, so since she can mix some quirky and tacky looking outfits, she is now suddenly an aspiring fashion designer who gets to study in Paris thanks to the money the dude gives her after he dies? I understand the motivational message of pursuing your dream and passion, but come on. “Drop everything, leave your town, and follow your passion” is terrible advice, let alone such superficial passion based on surface glamour as fashion design.
In essence, the film is telling its female audience that it’s a good idea to find a rich dude, who is about to die, to provide you for life, then use his money to broaden your horizons and pursue your wildest dream.
I understand it’s merely a film that is meant to entertain, but seeing how many girls like to hold the film’s message so dearly (how many more times do I have to see another inspirational photo of this dude with the text “live boldly” on my facebook?), I think it is important to be aware of the fact that it is simply entertainment, and not to take it as guidance or advice on how to live your life or what to seek in a relationship.
My Final, Personal Thoughts
Watching the film, I can totally see myself in the shoes of the two male characters.
The girl’s ex-boyfriend is totally consumed by his fitness goals. He constantly boasts about how he’s in the best shape of his life and how he is about to take part in a massively challenging triathlon. I’ll admit I used to be like this a lot back in my younger days when all I’d think about was exercising. There is even a scene when he is running and the girl is cycling after him. I actually have done this before!
Anyway, I’ve outgrown this I suppose. I no longer find myself so obsessed about fitness. It’s still important to me, but definitely not a top priority. I only do a couple of perfunctory workouts a week to maintain whatever muscle mass and stamina I still have now.
I also sympathise a lot with the disabled guy. Really, if I were to lose control of my arms and legs and had to be on painkillers 24/7 and get sick from the smallest infections, I’d want to fucking die too. What’s the point of living then if your body is no longer yours, you can no longer meaningfully experience life, your constant state of existence is suffering and agony, and the cost of keeping you alive can bankrupt your family?
Come to think of it, lately I’ve understood my dad a lot better. My dad always loses his temper very quickly and would yell and raise his voice at the smallest stuff. I used to dislike him a lot for this. I would think to myself “why can’t he be kinder and more understanding?”
But then, I have to be reminded that he has had chronic psoriasis (vẩy nến) for 35 years and also a kidney stone that never fully goes away. Every day he has to take powerful drugs with multiple side effects including severe headache and kidney damage. With that much constant pain, I can absolutely see why he’d get irritated and impatient so easily.
So overall I’d give this film a solid 7/10 for entertainment value, with a word of caution that please do not take it seriously or be “inspired” by it.