These days, it still makes me cringe to think back about how I used to fantasise about fighting when I was younger. I guess it’s something every teenage boy does — who has not watched Bruce Lee or Tony Jaa and imitate their uber-cool martial art moves?
Thankfully of the 27 years I have been alive, I have never had any actual experience with a serious fight. But the numerous fight videos I have watched throughout the years have instilled in me a deep sense of disgust for fighting of any kind. The human body can be surprisingly fragile, and the consequences of fighting — in the blink of an eye — is absolutely, terrifyingly life-altering.
When Fighting Was Cool
I honestly think the way the media depict fighting has a terribly negative influence on young boys. When I was a kid, mangas like Buttobi Itto (Đường Dẫn Đến Khung Thành), Doraemon, or Dragon Balls were full of fighting scenes which felt more… funny than scary. The artists would draw punches, kicks, and their impact in a heavily cartoonised style to make it friendly for young readers.
As I grew up a bit, I started to watch movies by Bruce Lee, Tony Jaa, Donnie Yen, and Jet Li — all legendary martial artists and actors. The fighting choreography in these films are stunningly captivating. I remember standing in front of the TV copying the famous side kick by Bruce Lee and the Muay Thai elbows and knees by Tony Jaa while imagining hitting a real opponent.
Don’t get me wrong — these movies are absolutely masterpieces in the martial arts genre, but they are meant for adult viewers who can distinguish between entertainment and reality. When a young impressionable kid watches it though, that’s the problem. The fight scenes are always exaggerated and sensationalised, and rarely do they accurately depict the actual brutality of violence.
Scenes like the above are extremely cool, but I feel like they do more to glorify violence than to warn against it — especially for young viewers. I remember fantasising about fictional scenarios where I was the hero fending off multiple villainous assailants, or defending the weak against bullies. I’d imagine myself doing a cool flying knee, or a massive side kick that send them flying away.
So in a nutshell, I grew up having an egregiously romanticised idea of fighting and violence. I was extremely fortunate in that except for a couple of harmless scuffles with classmates, I never got into a real serious fight.
The Reality of Fights
The first time I actually stopped to think about the reality of fighting was after watching Rocky IV. I was reading an interview with Dolph Lundgren, and he was commenting on how his character was still fighting even after having been hit repeatedly.
He said that this was just a movie falsehood. In reality, even if he — a 1.96m, 120kg competitive fighter — got hit once in the head, he would get knocked the fuck out. That was a real eye-opening moment for me.
Over time, as I started to see more video clips of real fights, I began to appreciate the brutality and the unpredictability of it even more. The scary truth is that the human body is stupidly fragile.
I’ve seen way too many videos of people getting punched once and is immediately knocked unconscious. And it’s not like in the movies where someone gets knocked out and later wakes up only slightly disoriented. In reality, concussions mean that brain damage has most likely occurred.
Even worse, many people die from a single punch. In Australia, apparently there have been 127 one-punch deaths between 2000 – 2016. In the majority of these deaths, the attacker never intended serious harm — they would lose their temper and throw a punch. It’s just a punch right? Well except that is enough to cause fatal brain trauma.
And punching is not even necessary. I remember at least two videos of some drunk guys joke fighting each other. One guy pushes the other; he falls down, hits his head on the pavement, breaks his neck and dies. It’s ridiculously easy to kill someone.
I also used to think that strikes to the torso should be relatively safer compared to head strikes. Well, there are this soccer player and this girl who both died from a single kick to the stomach. The blunt force trauma from the kick eventually ruptured one of their internal organs.
Of course these cases of death are rare, and most guys come out of a fight without life-threatening injuries. But still — just the possibility that it can happen is enough of a deterrent for me. I don’t ever want to live with the knowledge that my stupid punch ended someone’s life, accidentally or not.
Another brutal reality of fights is that your opponent might have a weapon that you are completely unaware of. Street fights are not supposed to be fair. In the heat of the moment, the fighters will fight dirty — and weapons are simply one of the options. I have read countless stories of someone getting into a fight, only for the other guy to suddenly pull out a switchblade from his pocket. They get stabbed without even knowing they have been stabbed.
Also, there’s a real possibility that after you have beaten up someone, they might come back for revenge. And they might bring their bros with them this time.
It’s Never Worth Fighting
So, to conclude, if you get into a fight, there are very high chances that:
- Either you or the other guy suffer traumatic injuries or even death.
- The other guy pulls a knife and skewers you.
- He calls his squad over to gang up on you.
In other words, nothing good comes from fighting. And the consequences are absolutely terrifying. You either end up in the hospital, the cemetery, or in jail. Fuck that.
I have long come to the conclusion that in an increasingly tense situation — for example, some road raging hotheads looking to start a fight with me, I have three options:
- Throw my ego out the window and apologise profusely. Defuse the situation. Even if he is clearly in the wrong.
- If he does not back down and keeps escalating: I’ll turn my back and bolt. Fuck everything else; I will run like there is no tomorrow.
- If he corners me and I have no other choice: I’ll fight.
I call this the ABC response: Apologise – Bolt – Crack. Only crack after you have apologised and have tried to bolt. Or as someone else has put it eloquently: never fight unless cornered.
There is also an excellent equivalent saying in Vietnamese: Một phút bốc đồng, cả đời bốc cứt. It’s just never worth it.