I think most of us are good at heart — we try to help as much as we can. But at the same time, it’s important to be smart about it. The world is not a kind place.
There is a type of robbery in Vietnam where criminals stage a fake scene to lure the victim into helping, and then rob them. I find it particularly disgusting as they’re taking advantage of people’s kindness. Always sucks to see bad things happen to good people.
Something similar (almost) happened to me recently, and it’s pretty chilling to think of what could have happened.
Staged Robberies
This is essentially a cruder, more violent version of a scam that involves fake distress to lure people into helping. Here are some stories I’ve read on the news, most of which happened in Saigon.
- A man was driving when he saw a woman who appeared to be having trouble with her motorbike. He pulled over and offered to help. He opened his motorbike seat to retrieve some tools in the bike storage box. And as he was busy working on the woman’s bike, someone jumped on his bike — with the key still there to keep the seat open — and just drove away. The distressed woman also quickly vanished.
- A woman sitting on her motorbike said she was approached by two kids, one about 7 and one about 2. They said they wanted to go somewhere 2km away, and they asked her for a lift. She agreed and let them on. As she was driving, a couple suddenly stopped her and screamed that she had kidnapped the kids. The man pulled her off her bike and beat her, the woman clutched the kids and cried hysterically. Then someone jumped on her bike and drove off. And then just like that, the ‘family’ also quickly disappeared.
- An elderly woman was walking when suddenly she fell to the ground. A young woman on her motorbike came to help. A group of four also quickly gathered. Suddenly, the group screamed that the young woman was stealing the old woman’s belongings, and they started to beat her. They kicked her off her bike and drove away.
- A man was walking on the street when two men on a motorbike approached. They asked for directions to an obscure place. The man pulled out his phone to look at Google Maps. The thieves immediately snatched his phone and drove off.
In each of these stories, it’s always apparent that the criminals act in a highly orchestrated manner — even employing children and elderly people. They stage seemingly innocuous situations to lure victims in, and they will scream, yell, and create confusion so that bystanders will be hesitant to intervene.
What Happened To Me??
Last week, as I was standing next to my bike on the street, an old woman carrying a baby came to me. She said she was his grandmum, and that her arms were tired from carrying him so she asked me to take him for her a bit.
Now I’m normally quick to help, but this seemed fishy as hell. I saw that she had her motorbike parked right there, so I pointed to the bike and asked why she wouldn’t put the baby on the bike.
She said the baby likes to be carried by men, that he feels more comfortable on his uncle’s or dad’s arms. Sounds ridiculous, but it might be true. Who knows?
The first though that crossed my mind was, “Would this make me look like a child kidnapper??”. The answer is yes; if she screamed “KIPNAPPPPPER” and a couple of guys jumped out of nowhere to beat me, I would be screwed.
But at the same time, I wouldn’t want to not help. She looked genuinely tired.
So I took the baby from her arms and promptly put him onto the bike seat. My entire contact with him lasted less than 5 seconds. Then I turned and walked back to my bike.
A couple minutes later, a young woman — likely the boy’s mother — showed up. She hopped on the bike and drove the baby and the grandmum away.
This left me confused as hell. They look like… normal people. Was it an attempt at a staged robbery? Or did the baby actually like to be cradled by men, and the old woman was genuinely tired?
Either way, I don’t think agreeing to her request was ever a reasonable option. It’s just stupid for anybody to hold a stranger’s child. And plus, this sounds awfully similar to what happened to the woman in the 2nd story above.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
I have asked myself this question before: should we help, if our kindness ends up benefiting scammers?
I’ve been approached a few times by strangers asking for money for a bus ticket. It’s always someone young that looks like a student, some nomad-looking guy carrying a massive backpack wearing dirty clothes, or a woman with a young kid. They don’t ask a lot, usually 10,000 – 20,000 dong.
Now, there have been reports that there are professional beggars who keep telling the same story, asking for ‘bus ticket’ money.
But I always give them the money. My reasoning is that it is impossible to tell if they are scammers, or if they genuinely need help. You never know if it’s a poor student who just got robbed of his money, and now he can’t get to his hometown. And for me, it’s just 20,000 dong. It’s literally a breakfast. It doesn’t mean a lot to me, but it might be a world of difference to them. And if it ends up being a scam? Oh well, it’s just a breakfast. I don’t even eat breakfast anyway.
But these are simple, smaller acts of kindness. What if you go out of your way to help, and end up being the victim?
I’ve read countless stories of bystanders trying to break a fight, and they end up getting beaten horribly themselves. In one instance, a man sees a guy violently beating his girlfriend, and he pushes the guy away and protects the girl. Suddenly, the guy beats him back, and the girl joins her boyfriend to beat the stranger. What a disastrous relationship these two must be in.
In Vietnam, it’s even more bizarre that in a traffic accident, if a good Samaritan takes the injured person to the hospital, the victim’s family will often beat or sue the helper! Their logic is that “that guy must be guilty, otherwise why would he bother taking my relative to the hospital??“
I understand that they are in extreme distress seeing their loved one injured. But to beat the helper because they might or might not be the perpetrator? That’s some genius line of thought if I’ve ever seen one.
In Bắc Ninh, a man taking a traffic crash victim to the hospital was greeted by a knife stab from the victim’s brother. Luckily he was in a hospital and was promptly treated. But seriously, to become permanently disabled, or even lose your life, because you went out of your way to offer help, and then some fucking moron accuses you of being the bad guy? That must suck on so many levels.
Final Thoughts
When I was younger, I saw the saying “No good deed goes unpunished”, and I didn’t really understand it. Over time, it just starts to make more sense. A lot of the times, you try to help out of genuine kindness. You believe you are doing good. But you never know if your good intentions will lead to disastrous consequences.
I think it is important that we help each other out. Of course by default we always have our friends and our family’s back, but even helping strangers shouldn’t be an afterthought.
As for me, in my everyday life, I try to tip the parking attendant, the waiter, the deliveryman, or the shopkeeper as much as I can. If it’s a 90k bill, I’ll give them 100k and tell them to keep the change. They are working hard and they don’t make a ton. It’s only 10k but I’m sure will mean a lot more to them.
But, in unusual situations, it’s so important to be smart. I will help, but I will document the hell out of everything. If I see a traffic victim, I will call an ambulance, and I will immediately take a video of the scene. This way there is evidence and nobody can mistake me for the perpetrator. And if I see something that has “staged robbery” written all over it? Thanks but I’ll pass.
Do good, and be smart about it.