When Owning Things Is No Longer The Dream

When I was younger, there were many things that I feverishly desired, from a big bad sport bike to a massive home theatre system. Most are just materialistic and hedonistic in nature.

Now that I’m a bit older, everything that I once deemed cool just suddenly loses their appeal. Your priorities and aspirations do shift and change a lot through time.

A Home Theatre System

In 2008 I was a regular member at HD-Vietnam.com. It was one of the first sites that shared high definition movies privately. (At this time, 480p DVDrip files were the norm on file sharing sites).

HD-Vietnam attracted audio and visual enthusiasts who shared pictures and configurations of their luxury home theatre systems. I went nuts over those rigs. Of course being a high school kid back then, I could never afford a proper system. I had to make do with my 100k headphones and 17-inch computer screen. I never even had the chance to listen to a basic 5.1 system.

Still, I tried to make the best of the situation. I’d find lossless audio files and spent days downloading 1080p movies over my crappy ADSL network. I’d constantly dream of the day where I’d be rich enough to own a massive TV screen with high quality acoustic systems and comfy cushioned seats.

Fast forward over 10 years, and a couple of days ago we bought a 5.1 surround sound system for our little gym room. It was a basic Logitech and Microlab computer speakers set, nothing fancy. Finally, after 26 years of being alive, I got the chance to experience a 5.1 sound system (apart from going to the cinema).

Yeah, it was… good, but nothing mind-blowing. Even if I did get to listen to a million-dollar acoustic system with cables made from gold, I’m certain I still would be pretty flaccid about it. I’m perfectly happy with my 100k Xiaomi earphones.

A Cool Sport Bike

When I grew a bit older and was able to ride bikes, just like any other young and testosterone-infested boys, I was obsessed with the lighting speeds of sport bikes. The Kawasaki Ninja bikes captured my attention the most. They just look so damn cool. The roar of the engine, the masculine curves, the beastly and sleek overall impression, this bike represents the speed, the power, and the “cool factor” any young boy dreams of.

I would watch countless review and commercial videos of this bike, drooling and fantasising of the day I’d be able to own it. The obvious problem is that the cheapest model, Ninja 250cc, cost over 130 million dong which I could never afford.

Still, I was dreaming of having a powerful sport bike. My Honda Wave could only get to 90km/h on a good day. I really, really wanted to feel that wind-slapping thrill of going past 120km/h.

In summer 2015, I saw an ad for a second hand Yamaha Exciter that had been modified to accommodate an 180cc engine (the regular engine of an Exciter is 135cc). I asked the owner how fast the bike could go, and he said 135km/h. He was asking for 33 million.

By this point, I already had about 35 million in my savings from all the jobs I had had previously. I went to an ATM and exhausted almost my entire account. I kind of knew this was probably a bad financial decision, but still, that bike is just irresistibly cool.

I took a taxi to his place, which was all the way up Nhật Tân bridge. I test rode the bike. It was powerful and the engine was as loud as I had expected.

Somehow I still felt like something wasn’t right, so I didn’t give the guy the money right away. I told him I’d need to fetch the cash from an ATM first, even though I was already carrying 33 million in my pocket.

I then wandered around for a while and sat down at a park bench nearby, contemplating everything. Is this bike worth 95% of all the money I had in the world?

Finally, after probably 30 minutes, I texted the guy sorry, and took a xe ôm home. That was it. Looking back now, I’m so glad that I turned back after getting that close to a complete financial disaster. I shudder to think what if I had more money than I needed back then, what would I have squandered it all on…

In 2018 my dad bought a 150cc Honda XL dirt bike. I rode it a couple of times. Meh, nothing exciting. Even if I was to be gifted a 1000cc Ninja HR (the top of the line model) right now, I’d probably just sell it immediately. It’s too damn big and bulky, guzzles fuel like a car, and has no functional storage space at all.

As of now, I don’t give two shits about my transport. I’m so glad I’m still driving my trusted 7-year-old Honda Wave to this day.

The Shift Towards Minimalism

The past few years, living a largely frugal and minimalist lifestyle out of necessity, I’ve gradually shifted my desires away from material possessions. What matters more right now, I guess, is the search for experience, value, and meaning, not the possession of things. The idea of buying something just because I want it no longer exists in my mind; the only reason I think of purchasing something now is out of necessity and function.

In fact I can probably count every single item I’ve purchased for personal use so far this year (apart from food, petrol, and other essential bills). If I was to pack all of my worldly possessions now, I think I can probably fit all into a suitcase.

It’s only a smart move really. Materialism is a vicious cycle of desire and dissatisfaction where you already have this thing and you keep yearning for more, for the newer and flashier stuff. I’m appreciating that quote from Fight Club, “the things you own end up owning you”, even more. It really is best to just forget about it all, learn to be content with whatever you have, and shift your desires towards a more meaningful and substantial pursuit.